Dear Molly of September 1st, 2013

Dear Molly of September 1st, 2013,

      Can you believe it? That crazy idea to start a blog panned out indeed. It's been four years. Four years of pain, joy, numbness, self-doubt, and self-discovery.

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      Well, you have a new diagnosis. In addition to anxiety and depression, you recently learned you have a form of ADHD. That was almost a relief to find out; a justification of sorts for some of your academic struggles. Adding a few more letters to the alphabet soup of Molly isn't such a big deal. Hopefully, now your meds are properly adjusted.

      You're still a procrastinator and a Night Owl. Two things you're working to change. 

      You still love Long Beach. It's a great place to live, no doubt. Although you harbor mixed feelings about magnet programs, you are very proud to be a Poly alum. It was a hard fight to get there.

      Although high school left a lot to be desired, you're moving forward. You still feel misunderstood and tend to over think things, but that's just how it is. It's just how you are. 

      The biggest thing you've come to know since starting college is that for the most part,  people actually do like you. You're not thought of or remembered as weird or annoying. People appreciate your sense of humor; you do have a knack for making everyone laugh. That's just an innate trait you're lucky to have. And you're perceived as intelligent. That's something you didn't understand for a long time. You don't have to be a standout hotshot in everything to have innate gifts. And you do. 

      Your critical thinking skills have gotten you far, and will continue to do so. Just because your with spatial reasoning is bordering on subpar, your algebraic gifts are uncommon. You can word problem with the best of them. You have a knack for literary analysis.

      Your passion and drive have taken you far.

      Your love for orchestra is something that will never change. It's been 11 years since you signed up to do violin at Emerson. And since then, you've stuck it out. Three years with no less than four teachers at school and three separate private teachers, and you still kept it up. A blow to your ego in sixth grade didn't completely kill your confidence. Mrs. Brinker at Stanford helped you understand that you actually do have musical gifts, and Lisa Lewis helped you to reach your fullest potential. Mr. Osman knew what you were capable of achieving. And now you know that music is where your heart lies, and where you make the greatest friends. 

      You've found your home in ice skating, and have maintained your strong ties to the Jewish community. You're speaking Spanish comfortably enough in the real world. But most of all, your blogging has changed your world for the better. 

      The more you write, the more people read what you have to share. And sharing your story is something you'll never stop doing. 

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      Oddly enough, adding a song to every blog has been one of your favorite parts. Float On by Modest Mouse is one that you love to sing, and that has kept you calm when you need comfort in the form of music. 

     We'll all float on okay, no matter what. 

Float On, by Modest Mouse 

I backed my car into a cop car the other day
Well, he just drove off - sometimes life's okay
I ran my mouth off a bit too much, ah what did I say?
Well, you just laughed it off and it was all okay

And we'll all float on okay
And we'll all float on okay
And we'll all float on okay
And we'll all float on anyway, well

A fake Jamaican took every last dime with that scam
It was worth it just to learn some sleight of hand
Bad news comes, don't you worry even when it lands
Good news will work it way to all them plans
We both got fired on, exactly, the same day
Well, we'll float on, good news is on the way

And we'll all float on okay
And we'll all float on okay
And we'll all float on okay
And we'll all float on alright

Already we'll all float on
Now don't you worry we'll all float on alright
Already we'll all float on alright
Don't worry we'll all float on

Alright, Already
And we'll all float on alright
Already we'll all float on alright
Don't worry even if things end up a bit
Too heavy we'll all float on alright

Already, we'll all float on alright
Already, we'll all float on okay
Don't worry, even if things get heavy
We'll all float on alright

Already, we'll all float on
(Alright!)
Now don't you worry, we'll all float on
(Alright!)
We'll all float on

Love, Molly

Why I Skate

Ice Skating has been a favorite activity of mine for, gulp, 8 years.

So here are 8 reasons why.

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1. Wonderful coaches who push you to do your best and take pride in your accomplishments as much as you do. From ones that you clicked with right away, to ones who had to grow on you, you've seen them all. You're grateful for the lessons they've taught you. Practice makes progress. Drive will take you far. Never give up.

2. The friends you make and the friendships you maintain every time you visit the rink. Every single visit, you meet someone new. Your ice skating buddies run the gamut. From the Tots, to a third grader with a sunny smile (when she actually smiles) who can spin with the best of them, to middle schoolers who you give advice to and share laughs with, to people your own age who skate with Disney and coach, to an English teacher at your old high school. So few of them are your age, but that means nothing. Not too many are at your ability level for both jumps and spins. And hardly any of them enjoy improvisation as much as you do. But it counts for diddly squat. You wouldn't have it any other way.

3. The results of dedicated training. Being able to land a jump or execute a spin almost perfectly after months of practice. Toe loop, cough, cough. Sit spin, you are slowly becoming less elusive.

4. A personal observation: At Lakewood ICE the skaters support each other unconditionally. There might be some club to club rivalry. But as individuals, the rink is one big happy family. You feel the love.

5. The ability to pick up skating lingo and feel like a pro. Shooting ducks, being a camel, and you know what a lutz is!

6. Being able to introduce your sport to others. It may be a bit counter intuitive to hole up in an ice rink in Sunny SoCal, but you started skating after learning to rollerblade at 10, An outdoor activity. Ice skating is not as difficult as one may think. You may have some degree of  physical advantage: relatively short and compactly built, with somewhat square hips and muscular legs. You fall a little short with flexibility. But there is no one body type for a skater. Fat, short, thin, tall, we've got it all.

7. If anyone ever starts to talk about sports teams, you can say your favorite pro team is the Anaheim Ducks. You'd love to try playing hockey eventually.

8. The creative aspect of it. You're not much of a dancer. But when you put on skates, you feel like a bird. You fly. And you can just let go, and move however you want to. You've always had a hard time doing that in dance class, but never when skating.

And you could go on and on...

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The point of making this list was simple. I just want to share a piece of my passion with the internet. Stuff like this just makes me happy. But I digress...

Song of The Day: It's Not Right For You, by The Script

Some things aren't right for you at all. Competitive swimming and learning how to draw come to mind. But the most important lyric in this song is "You got one life to love what you do." I think about that one line almost every day.

Oh, oh
Oh, oh

My head, my head is full of things that I should've done
My heart, my heart is heavy, and it sinks like a stone

She said, "Is this the life you've been dreaming of
Spending half the day away from the things you love?
It's not too late to do something new."

Yeah yeah she said, "It's hard enough trying to live your life
But not following your dreams made you dead inside
If you don't love what you do."

It's not right, it's not right for you (Oh)
If you even have to think about it (Oh)
It's not right, it's not right for you (Oh)
If you really have to think about it (Oh)
You got one life to love what you do

My hands, my hands are scarred by things I shouldn't have done
My feet, my feet are weary from all the miles that I've run

She said, "Open your mind, take a look within
Are you happy with the world that you're living in?
If not, you gotta change what you do."

Yeah yeah she said, "And lately I don't see you smile lot
Are you happy here with me and the things we've got?
If you can't say that it's true."

It's not right, it's not right for you (Oh)
If you even have to think about it (Oh)
It's not right, it's not right for you (Oh)
If you really have to think about it (Oh)
You got one life to love what you do

If we don't do something now then we'll never know
If we stay here too long then we'll, we'll never grow old
So, before it's too late and it's killing you, yeah
We've only one life to live, so love what you do

Oh, oh
It's not right, it's not right for you (Oh)
If you even have to think about it (Oh)
It's not right, it's not right for you (Oh)
If you really have to think about it (Oh)
You got one life to love what you do

In the end, in the end
Better hold 'cause you're taking it all in
In the end, in the end
You got one life to love what you do
In the end, in the end
Better hold 'cause you're take it all in
In the end, in the end
You got one life to love what you do

Love, Molly

First Impressions Can Be Deceiving: Milan

Dear Molly,

     Now a new blog theme, in addition to song lyrics at every occasion. Reflecting on relationships with individuals.

     Up first, in honor of 19 years of life today, and 8 crazy years of friendship: Milan Perry.

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     They say there's love at first sight and there must be friendship at first sight,  but a relationship you now consider to be among your most treasured would actually fall under the category of distaste at first sight.

     First day of sixth grade. Stanford Middle School 1st period History.
Hello. Hello. Great.

     You quickly find out that you're both the hand-raising, high-scoring, bordering on know-it-all type. Neither of you were used to having an intellectual rival. The idea was appalling. You wanted to be the sole shining star! And that's not even mentioning that she played violin too. Was this girl out to get you? Bring you down? Why did she have to share History, Science, English, and Orchestra classes with you? Why couldn't it be someone you liked? You mostly avoid each other.

     Seventh grade rolls around. You find yourself together in English, PE, Orchestra, and History. Not again! In Mr. Waddles' English class, you're assigned a project: As a group, research a two-sided debatable topic and write an individual paper making the case for one side. No Spider Man or Batman, Coke or Pepsi, or Disney Channel or Nickelodeon for you! You wind up selecting the death penalty to research with Miriam and Milan. Because you knew you could trust them not to flake. And slowly, you become friends. Isn't that how all rivals wind up befriending each other, working on a middle school project about the death penalty?

     You find this turn of events much more amusing than she does. You can laugh about your blooming early days of friendship now. Like when she accidentally broke your glasses with a football. And specifically her great line: Do you play an instrument? She realizes that you sit next to each other in orchestra. You: I'll repeat that one when we're in a Retirement Home, sitting in rocking chairs, and we'll both laugh until our dentures fall out. A true gem.

     Seventh grade comes, seventh grade goes. You remember it all in living color, she doesn't.

     Eighth grade arrives, and you're faced with a major decision. Molly at Millikan, or Molly at Poly? She persuades you to pick the rhyme over the alliteration, and you are eternally grateful for that.

     High school. Long Beach Polytechnic Program of Additional Curricular Experiences. PACE. Sadly, it's a four letter word for a lot of people. For both of you, it definitely is.

     You stop talking as you both face demons. Feelings of inferiority. Falling outs. Financial troubles. Grade woes. Yet, you can sense that she's won't desert you when you need her. A fair weather friend she is not.

     She is among your closest confidants. One of only a handful of similar age/grade.

     You balance each other out. You both love to talk and talk and talk. Luckily the struggles of eleven year-olds are no longer an issue.

     You support each other. No topic is completely off limits.

     You teach each other. Fortunately, you have the same basic political views. But the cultures you were raised in are basically polar opposites. You teach her what it means to be white but not a WASP. Sorry. And Judaism and kindness. She teaches you what it's like to be raised more or less an only child of a single parent in more or less the inner city. And how tough it is to be a strong, independent, intellectual, black woman in 2017. You've both said some insensitive things over the years, but have learned over time that words sting, but they don't break you.

     You never hesitate to reach out to each other. The world is better when you converse, for a fleeting moment.

     And you could go on and on and on. But you don't have to.

     Milan means the world to you. Never forget it.

     Let's see how far we've come, Girl!

Song of the Day: How Far We've Come, by Matchbox 20

Hello
Hello
Hello

Waking up at the start of the end of the world,
But it's feeling just like every other morning before,
Now I wonder what my life is going to mean if it's gone,

The cars are moving like a half a mile an hour
And I started staring at the passengers who're waving goodbye
Can you tell me what was ever really special about me all this time?

I believe the world is burning to the ground
Oh well I guess we're gonna find out
Let's see how far we've come
Let's see how far we've come

Well I believe it all is coming to an end
Oh well, I guess, we're gonna pretend,
Let's see how far we've come
Let's see how far we've come

I think it turned ten o'clock but I don't really know
And I can't remember caring for an hour or so
Started crying and I couldn't stop myself
I started running but there's no where to run to
I sat down on the street took a look at myself
Said where you going man you know the world is headed for hell
Say your goodbyes if you've got someone you can say goodbye to

I believe the world is burning to the ground
Oh well I guess we're gonna find out
Let's see how far we've come
Let's see how far we've come

Well I, believe, it all, is coming to an end
Oh well, I guess, we're gonna pretend,
Let's see how far we've come
Let's see how far we've come

It's gone, gone, baby, it's all gone
There is no one on the corner and there's no one at home
It was cool cool, it was just all cool
Now it's over for me and it's over for you

Well it's gone, gone, baby, it's all gone
There is no one on the corner and there's no one at home
Well it was cool cool, it was just all cool
Now it's over for me and it's over for you

I believe the world is burning to the ground
Oh well I guess we're gonna find out
Let's see how far we've come
Let's see how far we've come

Well I, believe, it all, is coming to an end
Oh well, I guess, we're gonna pretend,
Let's see how far we've come
Let's see how far we've come
Let's see how far we've come

Let's see how far we've come
Let's see how far we've come
Let's see how far we've come
Let's see how far we've come
Let's see how far we've come
Let's see how far we've come

Much Love, Molly

I am Me

Dear Molly,

     So you've spent time brooding. And moping. And mourning for the things that could've been (of which there are plenty). You know you have internal pessimistic tendencies. Heck, you even have a shirt with a picture of an old-fashioned camera and the words "Don't Be Negative", undoubtedly advice you should follow more often. But now is not the time for that. It's time to be grateful for what you do have.

     You survived your first semester of college, with less than stellar grades, but that's not the point. The point is that you didn't fail. It's been lonely, sure. Just gotta keep remembering all the money you're saving by living at home.

     The point is that you mostly like yourself for who you are.
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      Awhile back, I responded to a Facebook post from someone whom I think of as a close acquaintance. (Is that a thing? I take it to mean somebody whom you've only met once, but discovered you had a lot in common.)

     The post went: If literally no one wants me around, why am I here?

     Me: I recently decided to go about life under the impression that people don't like me and save myself from a lot of heartbreak.

INTERUPTION:

     I used to go about life naïvely thinking that I was well-liked by just about everyone. I know it's stupid to care about it, but social media and finishing high school have made me doubt that. The sheer number of people who have blocked me and/or stopped communicating with me makes me feel hurt. What did I do wrong? And then I remember that the connection between my brain and my mouth is faulty what feels like more often than not. I really should get a pacifier shaped like a foot so I can literally put my foot in my mouth. And after that, my heart starts to shatter into a million little pieces and the hurt continues to increase. Exponentially. If I could help it, I would have never hurt a flea. But it's too late. Words cut deep, and I know I can be completely brutal without meaning to be.

     Me, continued: I guess the reason we're here is to touch the lives of the people who care about us unconditionally.

     Her: Well said.

     Me: Thanks. It means a lot
.

     Her: So does the fact that you even responded.

     And I'd like to think I've done just that, touched the life of a person or two.

                              
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     One good quality that you do have is that you're authentic.

     To quote yearbook signatures, birthday greetings via Facebook, and text messages: You are "wonderful, don't forget it" and "so fantastic".

     You're "unapologetically quirky" and "true to yourself" and "Truly one of a kind...genuine, sweet, and bright".

     Even though you're singing your own praises, so to speak, it feels good that these last three came from people who have never met.

     You have a "unique way of thinking", and are "friendly and honest", not mention "great and understanding".

     "You are funny and intelligent, and I always have such great conversations with you."

     "You're so interestingly inquisitive, happily positive, and always bring a smile to people."

     You miss all of these people quite a bit. Fine, a lot.

     You love with your whole heart. In a Girl Scout activity devoted to disproving stereotypes, you wrote that you are "passionate but friendly."

     But with all that love comes some hate. You have a tendency to hold grudges. (Mrs. Bhatia and Mr. Maxson, I'm looking at you. People can be really horrible.) The world isn't there to hurt you, but it feels that way sometimes. And then your thoughts unconsciously turn to "Why me?" What did I do to deserve mental illness? Nothing. No one deserves it.

     Mental illness is an equal opportunity offender. It will strike anyone.

     In fact, your mom even had the idea to create a mental, caricature of a cartoon representation of depression. Pat is a great big ugly monster with yellow teeth, stringy, scraggly, unwashed hair, ripped clothes, and the like. Pat has slowed you down, but not stopped you.

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     I've come a long way since I started this blog more than three and a half years ago. I've been knocked down, but I've gained the inner strength to get back up. I'm grateful I had the foresight to do a blog rather than a handwritten journal. Sharing my story has been and will continue to be therapeutic.
Overall, at the end of the day, my life is like a marble cake, a rubber band ball, or a jigsaw puzzle. There are good parts and bad parts of my history, but they all come together to make something beautiful.

Song of the Day: Ordinary Human by OneRepublic

     This song gets way less credit than it deserves. The Giver was actually a great movie; and in your humble opinion, Ordinary Human should have beaten out Let it Go for the Best Original Song Oscar. Alas, it wasn't even nominated.

     Anyway, Ryan Tedder is a brilliant songwriter and under-appreciated genius.

     It's true. You're an average, everyday, ordinary human cursed/gifted with unusually sharp introspectiveness. But it causes you to be compassionate. And yes, you sometimes medicate, with a prescription, but that's a story for another day.

     There's been a switch in your vein and the shadows scream your name.

Today I took a walk in the clouds
Today I took a walk in the clouds
Used to keep my eyes wide shut
But now I'm staring down

Today I felt a switch in my vein
Today I felt a switch in my vein
Used to be a shadow
Now the shadows scream my name
And in the daylight I could swear
We’re the same

But I’m just an ordinary human
(Ordinary ways)
I’m just an ordinary human
But I don’t feel so ordinary today

I’m just your picture perfect nothing
Sometimes I medicate
I’ll be a picture perfect human
Before the sun goes down today

Today I felt a switch in my vein
Today I made them all afraid
Used to be a shadow
Now the shadows scream my name
And in the daylight I could swear
We’re the same

But I’m just an ordinary human
(Ordinary ways)
I’m just an ordinary human
But I don’t feel so ordinary today

I’m just a picture perfect nothing
Sometimes I medicate
I’ll be a picture perfect human
Before the sun goes down today

Just an ordinary human
But I don't feel so typical, no, today

There'll be peace in the city tonight
Peace in the city tonight
But when I'm gone
I hope they get it right

There'll be peace in the city tonight
Peace in the city tonight
For when I'm gone
I hope they get it right

Just an ordinary human
(Ordinary ways)
I'm ordinary human
I don't feel so ordinary today

But when I'm gone
I hope they get it right...

Love, Molly

Something Lighthearted

      Enough with the profound stuff. Time for something fun. And hopefully something to spark a conversation or two to turn acquaintances into friends. 

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30 Little-Known Facts About Myself/Things That Are Somewhat Unusual About Me

1. A lot of people love the smell of fresh-cut grass, but it makes me gag and even dry heave.

2. I've wanted a pet lizard since I was six. But we got our dog when I was ten, and I don't think she'd be too welcoming to a reptile.

3. Most people are right-eye or left-eye dominant, but I'm eye ambidextrous. Yet I can't wink with my right eye.

4. I loved, loved, loved the color yellow as a toddler.

5. Harebrained ideas from my past include participating in marching band, playing water polo, and being a cheerleader.

6. I don't like mustard or mayonnaise on my sandwiches. I've eaten enough dry turkey sandwiches in my lifetime for two people.

7. I named both my sister (Samantha) and our dog (Pippi).

8. I was very proud of my 10:38 mile time in eighth grade.

9. In middle school my favorite subjects were English and science. My favorite part of  math was word problems. I haven't met too many like minded people with those...

10. I won a holiday card contest for the children of Long Beach Transit employees in elementary school. The $50 Toys R Us giftcard was the best part.

11. I didn't like NFTY at first, but now I miss it a lot.

12. I'm not a cat person. All dogs, all the time.

13. I've never broken a bone, despite being extremely klutzy. Burn and tripping scars to prove it. I like to say that the closest I've come to breaking a bone was when kindergarten Molly was jumping on the couch while wearing a charm bracelet and sliced her palm upon it. The resulting cloth bandage looked a little like a cast.

14. I have a 250-strong collection of unsharpened pencils, all with different patterns. I started this collection when I was five. I even displayed some at the local library.

15. I got my first pair of glasses a month after I turned eight. I tried contacts once at the eye doctor, and I could take them out but not put them in.

16. In preschool I wanted to be an artist. The only problem is that my drawing skills are exceedingly limited. I'd like to think that I do have a good eye for color.

17. My favorite words are alas, salutations, and indeed.

18. I would eat ice cream for every meal if I had super-human metabolism.

19. In elementary school, I was the last violinist standing (As in the only one who came back for the second year, fourth grade). I switched to cello at the end of ninth grade, and have never looked back. I love my cello buddies.

20. I am the sentimentalist of the family. But I promise I'm not a hoarder. I just have pack rat tendencies.

21. My guilty pleasures are game shows (Jeopardy! in particular), Pop Tarts , and Forensic Files. I try not to indulge all three on the same day...

22. My one moment of athletic glory in middle school was being goalie in team handball, in which I stopped many goals and got bruises from the red rubber ball. Of course the paradoxically overweight PE teacher accused me of not participating when in reality I was the only person willing to be goalie. I got my first B in that class. My only other athletic glory has come from ice skating. I'm less of a klutz on ice skates than on two feet, oddly enough.

23. The best year of my life in memory, strangely enough, was the year I was 12. Those were the days...

24. As far as I know, my family is 100% Eastern European, on both sides. Three of my great-grandparents were born in Russia and one was born in Lithuania.

25. I've never been to Universal Studios, but I am a Harry Potter aficionado, and really want to visit! I am a Ravenclaw with a sprinkle of Hufflepuff.

26. I've never seen anyone grip a pencil/pen (or a fork) the way I do. My sister also has an unusual grip, but it's not the same as mine. I prefer wooden pencils over mechanical because mechanical break on me too much.

27. The first movie I saw in theaters was Monsters, Inc. I've been a Pixar fan ever since. My family even went to "Pixar in Concert" at the Hollywood Bowl.

28. I would never name my own kid Molly, but I suppose I've grown into it. It's used for dogs more than humans, and people can poke fun it. Unless they love it. I don't like being called Mol. M is okay. I like being called Mariana in Spanish class. (Molly does not translate well into Spanish.)

29. I love the diversity of Long Beach.

30. I am a gigantic contradiction. I'm quiet but talkative, sunny but with depressive tendencies...
And not ashamed to admit it.

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      So, there ya have it, 30+ factoids about me. Reader: make my day and let me know if any of these surprised you. Even better: share a few of your own.

Love, Molly

Confessions of a College Student Who Doesn't Feel Like One

Dear Molly,

     Well, wow. Good golly. When you began this blogging adventure 3 years, 1 month, 3 weeks, and 3 days ago, you never thought this day would come. You're an 'adult' in college.   Depression has a way of slowing down time. The hell hole that was 2014 moved at the speed of Molasses in the Winter.

     In September 2013, you had this grand plan of becoming a cognitive scientist. You thought you wanted to go to a fancy private university, become a researcher, and unlock secrets of human behavior. And that plan dwindled with fury. You learned that you cannot stand to be around spoiled, rich, or snobby kids. Then you realized that while your intellectual curiosity is as strong as ever, you simply don't have the patience to do lab reports and things of that nature.They started to fall under the category of "Why bother?".

     Luckily, through time at AbilityFirst and joining two groups of Best Buddies, you learned that helping other people improve is your passion, your absolute favorite thing to do. You have a plan, and a definite path you're on.

     Well, college. It's weird having all this independence. But that doesn't detract from the reality that you're at your last choice of college because scholarships may help with tuition but involve sky-high costs of living. College ain't cheap. A family that's strapped for cash is not a pleasant family. And there's also a fatal lack of trust from the 'rents. Pleads of "What happened once won't happen again" don't fly. Sadly.

     The worst part of college is the constant boredom and loneliness. You have a two and a half hour break in the morning and an hour break in the afternoon, and never know what to do with yourself, besides attempting to focus on studying, and stare off into space and zone out. Ugh. And the loneliness. Sure, you see people in class, but you miss high school when you actually saw your friends on a regular, consistent basis. And the jealousy of seemingly everyone who gets to live somewhere besides at home at first choice colleges is raging on a daily basis.

     The best part about college is the classes. It's definitely weird not having math and English. But Spanish is going well, Sociology is enjoyable, you're slowly becoming better at tap dancing, and in spite of a not-so-great professor, Scientific and Spatial Reasoning is relatively interesting.

     Back to the part about not feeling like a college student: your life is really no different. You might go to a different school, but you're still living at home, with your parents to monitor your every move. But maybe that will get better in time. 

Love, Molly

Song of the day:
Future Looks Good by OneRepublic

Although the present kinda sucks, hope for a better future continues to make you get up and kick your own ass every single day.

Woke up starin' at this, starin' at this empty room
Looked at thousand different pictures that your mother took of you
You see I had this crazy dream last night, this man he talked to me
He told me everything that's good and bad about my history

But he said that you are, you are the future
He said that you are, you are the future
And the future looks good
The future looks good

Oh, call me anytime that every time you're losin' it
And tell me anyone and everyone who makes you feel like shit
Because you know anybody, everybody else can lie
But honey I won't see you with a, see you with a broken set of eyes

I swear that you are, you are the future
I swear that you are, you are the future
And the future looks good
Oh, yeah
The future looks good
Oh, yeah

The future looks good
Oh, yeah
The future looks good
Oh, yeah

You, you, you
You, you, you

Woke up starin' at this, starin' at this empty room
Looked at thousand different pictures that your mother took of you

The Road I'll Travel

Dear Molly,

     Wow. High school is over. 13 years of public school later. 13 years ago, you were a sunny 5 year-old who loved to watch PBS Kids, be read to, dance and couldn't wait to start kindergarten. 7 years ago, you were 11. You were busy taking violin lessons, going to ice skating class, reading voraciously, and eagerly awaiting middle school. 4 years ago, you were geared up to begin a new chapter in your life.

     3 years ago, your life as you knew it began to fall apart. 2 years ago, you were bored to tears in Summer School. Last year, you learned that life is all about taking matters into your own hands. You were hit with a startling realization: my future belongs to me. You're not going to let anyone else make bad decisions on your behalf. Last August, you were about to start senior year.

   Your parents tried to persuade you to stay at Millikan, but you knew you couldn't do it. You were lonely, withdrawn, and let self doubt get the best of you. You needed to do what you knew would be better, however marginally; transferring back to Poly to finish out your high school career And it was.

      You got your first A in English since 8th grade, and passed the AP Literature test. You won your first ever math award. You played cello and had to work to enjoy it. And you met so many great people through orchestra who you're so proud to call you're friends. You dropped AP Spanish at the 4th quarter because you flat out couldn't keep up. You realized that content wise, you were a full year behind your classmates. But that's not going to stop you from reaching your goal of being bilingual. Achieving fluency is something you're doing for you.

       You're learning your place in this world. You're learning even more about yourself. You're learning that people can be real @$$#%$ (pardon the typographical swear). You're learning what makes you happy. You like being optimistic and bringing joy to others. You love to smile, live to laugh, and will never turn down a hug. For the most part, you're proud of who you are. You refused to let circumstances get the best of you. You're not proud of how you were stubborn and let your pride get in the way.

     You're less than a week away from starting college. You turned 18 last Saturday. Today you got to sign my first ever medical release form, the real marker of being an adult. It's not merely the beginning of a different chapter; it's a whole new book. Consider it the latest volume in "The Book of Life": The Young Adulthood of Molly. It's a path you have in front of you, a road with a destination I you'll hopefully soon discover.

 Song of the Day: Magic by Trad and Anon

     You learned this song many years ago at Camp Scherman. You went to this amazing Girl Scout Overnight camp from the summer before 4th grade to the summer before 10th grade, despite thoughts and endorsements for Jewish Camp and Music Camp. But you found myself going back year after year. You'll definitely going to be a counselor if they will hire you! This song reminds you that there is still beauty in this world, and always will be.

When I was young, I thought the stars were made for wishing on,
And every hole deep in a tree must hide a leprechaun.
Old houses all had secret rooms if one could find the door,
But who believes in magic, anymore?

Magic is the sun that makes a rainbow out of rain,
And magic keeps the dream alive to try and try again.
Magic is the love that stays when good friends have to leave,
I do believe in magic, I believe.

Growing up the grown-ups said one day I'd wake to find,
That magic's just a childhood dream I'd have to leave behind.
Like clothes that would no longer fit and toys that I'd ignore,
I'd not believe in magic any more.

Magic is the sun that makes a rainbow out of rain,

And magic keeps the dream alive to try and try again.
Magic is the love that stays when good friends have to leave,
I do believe in magic, I believe.

When I grew up I learned again that much to my surprise,
The magic did not fade away- it took a new disguise.
A child, a friend, a smile, a song, the courage to stand tall,
I do believe in magic after all.

Magic is the sun that makes a rainbow out of rain,

And magic keeps the dream alive to try and try again.
Magic is the love that stays when good friends have to leave,
I do believe in magic, and love's the greatest magic, 

I do believe in magic, I believe.

Love, Molly