Life Keeps Moving

Dear Molly,
So you haven't written in several days. You've been busy, exhausted and annoyed. At life.

So far class has been mostly good. Rosas is completely normal, Adams seems cool but rather anal. Yet Coach Kalani is absolute nightmare. I'm motivated to succeed, but I'm working up endurance, so it's hard for me to swim an hour straight. So she's viewing me as lazy. It stings. I'm going to attempt water polo. And SMOs are awful. I have my work cut out for me tonight.

Yesterday was Yom Kippur, the day of atonement, which proved to be a good chance to reflect on the past year. Sure I was depressed, but I have two enemies through little fault of my own. Sure I was judgmental and didn't pull my weight in a group project, but these two people have proved to be close minded and neither of them feel like understanding. I want to make peace with both of them, even if they still dislike me for what I did. And I will.

So basically, I've been hanging in there, waiting for all the positives I have.

Song of the Day: Apologize, by OneRepublic
It's really reflective, and perfect for Yom Kippur. Yet I hope I will be able to apologize and right my wrongs.

 I'm holding on your rope

Got me ten feet off the ground
And I'm hearing what you say
But I just can't make a sound

You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around and say

That it's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
Too late, oh

I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothing new, yeah yeah

I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue
And you say
Sorry like the angel, heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late, whoa whoa

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I said it's too late to apologize, yeah, too late
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah, too late

I'm holding on your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground

First Day of School!

Dear Molly,
Sorry I didn't write yesterday. I was too darn exhausted. Getting no sleep the night before does that to you.
Anyway.....
APUSH: Looking forward to actually being taught this subject in a decent manner. Cough Cough, Mr. Holliday.
Gillogly: Seems like an ADD version of Mr. Tate, which sounds good to me.
English and Lawrence: So far, so good. She seems like a genuinely likeable person.
Orchestra: Scared out of my wits to start on cello.
Osman: Seemed like he really wanted to buckle down, more so than last year.
Biology : Yaaaaayyyy! My favorite subject!!!!
Rita: Rambled the entire period.
Swim: Felt like a meat market with all of those sweating bodies. Looking forward to being light years ahead of most newbies!

Song of the day: Good Life by OneRepublic. Maybe the title should be Good Year!

Woke up in London yesterday
Found myself in the city near Piccadilly
Don't really know how I got here
I got some pictures on my phone

New names and numbers that I don't know
Address to places like Abbey Road
Day turns to night, night turns to whatever we want
We're young enough to say

Oh, this has gotta be the good life
This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life

I say, "Oh, got this feeling that you can't fight"
Like this city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life, a good, good life

To my friends in New York, I say hello
My friends in L.A. they don't know
Where I've been for the past few years or so
Paris to China to Colorado

Sometimes there's airplanes I can' t jump out
Sometimes there's bullshit that don't work now
We are God of stories, but please tell me
What there is to complain about?

When you're happy like a fool, let it take you over
When everything is out you gotta take it in

Oh, this has gotta be the good life
This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life

I say, oh, got this feeling that you can't fight
Like this city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life, a good, good life
Oh, a good, good life, yeah

Hopelessly
I feel like there might be something that I'll miss
Hopelessly
I feel like the window closes oh so quick

Hopelessly
I'm taking a mental picture of you now
'Cause hopelessly
The hope is we have so much to feel good about

Oh, this has gotta be the good life
This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life

I say, "Oh, got this feeling that you can't fight"
Like this city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life, a good, good life
Oh yeah, good, good life, good life, oh, this is

To my friends in New York, I say hello
My friends in L.A. they don't know
Where I've been for the past few years or so
Paris to China to Colorado

Sometimes there's airplanes I can' t jump out
Sometimes there's bullsh*t that don't work now
We are God of stories but please tell me
What there is to complain about?

Love, Molly

Samantha

Dear Molly,
 Today is the day before that lovely day known as the first day of school. Today's topic: Samantha Gabrielle Rosenfeld.

Sam is one of the strongest people I know. She's dealt with so much in the past ten years. I can't even imagine it. But she doesn't give a "Shiitake Mushroom". She just faces problems head on. I love her so much. Her ADD and strong personality are just two things about her. She's just as complex as I am.

Sam: This is song is for you.

"World of Your Dreams", By Debbie Friedman

May your eyes shine with the light of Torah,
And your face be radiant as the brightness of the sky.
May your lips speak words of wisdom,
And may the world you live in be the world of your dreams.
May you see your world created in your lifetime.
May you see your visions come to be.
May your hope touch every generation to come.
These are the prayers we have for you.
May you be blessed with understanding,
With wisdom and compassion in your heart.
May your tongue be filled with song,
And your lips sing out for justice.
These are the prayers we have for you.


Love, Molly

Format and Peeps

Dear Molly,

A brief discussion of the format of your blog:  You write to your future self or anyone willing to listen. A featured section is the song of the day. You discuss a song and what it means to you.

Today's topic: People who just dislike me for some damn reason, even when I give a shit about what they think about me.
Mostly people in PACE. Who think I'm too odd (A Jewish Liberal Eastern European), too open minded, too outspoken, too sunny, too much of a crappy student, too Molly. It sucks. It's just so hard. I try to reach out my hand, but they shrug it away. No one understands. It's difficult. I cry about it sometimes. It's so hard knowing there will never be another Molly Hannah Rosenfeld. You try yourself to compensate for this, but it doesn't work. So maybe a blog can fill this gap. I sure hope so.

Song of the Day: Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons. Which is kind of like the anthem that the world sings to you.

Lyrics:
                                                       Weep for yourself, my man,

You'll never be what is in your heart
Weep, little lion man,
You're not as brave as you were at the start
Rate yourself and rake yourself
Take all the courage you have left
And waste it on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head

But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
Didn't I, my dear?
Didn't I, my...

Tremble for yourself, my man,
You know that you have seen this all before
Tremble, little lion man,
You'll never settle any of your scores
Your grace is wasted in your face,
Your boldness stands alone among the wreck
Now learn from your mother or else spend your days biting your own neck

But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
Didn't I, my dear?

But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
Didn't I, my dear?
Didn't I, my dear?

But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
Didn't I, my dear?

But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
Didn't I, my dear?
Didn't I, my dear?

The Beginning of My Journey

Dear Molly,

It's Molly, the Molly that you knew on September 1st, 2013. That's right: a new month, a new school year, a fresh start. You know you have dabbled in journaling in the past, but it never took. It was just too hard for you to get your thoughts on paper. So now you will type your journal, for all to see.

A bit of background:
You were diagnosed with depression and are on medication
You put the pro in procrastinate
You absolutely love Long Beach, Poly, and PACE
You turned 15 about two weeks ago
You are a total night owl
You hope this idea will actually pan out.

About the name:
You're not Type A, or even Type A-. You try to be down to earth, kind, caring, compassionate, bright, open minded, and soulful. You either overthink or underthink, which is a teeny bit of an issue for you. Just a small one. Okay, it's been driving you crazy. So the name comes from that, and also your philosophy about grades. An A is great, and so is A minus. But B plus is a darn good grade. You weren't perfect, but you put your best effort and it paid off. So therefore, you like B pluses.

Bye for now,

Molly