Blogi-versary

Dear Molly,

The world made it through eight months of 2021. 

This blog has made it through eight years of your life.

Every time you do a requisite 1st of the month blog, you find yourself marveling about how much time has passed. Now, it's nearing a decade. A newborn would be a third grader. So, you went back to read every entry, just like you said you would in September of 2013.

You indeed wrote to your future self and anyone willing to listen. And Type B+ Journey chronicles your life events, and your growth as a human.

"Wherever you go, there you are."

Well, since your last entry, you went to a new place that wound up being nothing like you expected. 

Working at Girl Scouts of Northern California Camp Hidden Falls nearly broke you. 

Basically, nobody at the camp knew what they were doing. No one had ever been in their role before, and some had never been to camp at all. You were suffering emotionally and had zero support. So rather than try to help you be a good counselor, they terminated you on an hour's notice. You'll never forget being given the suicide hotline number on a post it and dropped off at the airport, being wished "good luck."

You were left in the lowest place since 2014. Old wounds opened up and new ones created. It starts to feel like you'll never catch a break. Like whenever there's something important, you screw it up. Like you don't do well with responsibility and never will. In all honesty, at least at the moment, responsibility can start to frighten you. 

But you're working on that, learning to be the best leader you can be. Every day. Never doubt that you are worthy of love and respect. You have good things to contribute to the world. 

And you made it back to San Jose. Back to music making and a double major BA. And hopefully, back to believing in yourself.

Song of the Day: "Miracles (Someone Special) by Coldplay.

My father said never give up son
Just look how good Cassius become
Mohammed, Mahatma, and Nelson
Not scared to be strong

Now you could run and just say they're right
No I'll never be no one in my whole life
Or you could turn and see the way they're wrong
And get to keep on dancing all life long

My father said never give up, son
Just look what Amelia and Joan done
Or Rosa, Teresa, the war won
Not scared to be strong

Now you could run and just say they're right
No I'll never be no one in my whole life
Or you could turn and see the way they're wrong
And get to keep on dancing all life long
Yeah you could be

Someone special
You've got bright in your brains and
Lightning in your veins
You'll go higher then they've ever gone
In you I see
Someone special
You've got fire in your eyes and
When you realize
You'll go further then we've ever gone (look)
Just turn it on

I pay my intuition I couldn't afford tuition
My funds was insufficient and it felt I'm in prison
Until I realized I had to set my mind free
I was trusting statistics more than I trust me
Get a degree, good job, 401k
But I'm trying to turn Ks to Ms what does it take?
And maybe I could be the new Ali of music, probably
Instead of doing it just as a hobby like these boys told me to
I guess you either watch the show or you're showin' proof
Prove it to them you prove it to yourself
But honestly its better if you do it for yourself
Never complacent 'til we hit the oasis
One life don't waste it feel my heart races, success I taste it, I
We on the verge again and every single day that we deserve

Yeah you could be
Someone special
You've got fire in your eyes
I see heaven inside
You'll go further then we've ever gone
In you I see
Someone special
You've got bright in your brains
You can break through those chains
You'll go higher then we've ever gone
Just turn it on

In you I see
Someone special
Don't go to war with yourself
Just turn, just turn, just turn it on
And you can't go wrong

You don't have to brave all the time, but remember you shouldn't be scared to be strong. 

And you are much stronger than you give yourself credit for being.

You've got bright in your brains, lightning in your veins, and fire in your eyes.

You can break through those chains.

You are someone special.   

Love,

Molly